Alright, let me just start off here by saying, honestly and sincerely, no judgment for what might have gone down in the last couple of months.
I know... I’m a pediatric sleep consultant and you may think that I’m going to chastise or judge you for the late bedtimes, unenforced rules, inconsistent schedules, or any of the many “inadvisable” that may have taken place over your summer vacation.
But I get it. I totally do. I’m a mom of two boys myself and I know how precious these summer months are. You want to squeeze every minute of joy and togetherness you can from these glorious days. If it’s a choice between consistent bedtimes and staying up to make s’mores and tell stories around the fire, I mean c’mon, that’s not a choice at all!
So, no matter what might have happened over the summer vacation, all is forgiven. The mission now is to get your child back on track so that they can get back to sleep at a reasonable hour before they head back to school.
So, I hope you’ll keep reading without fear of any finger wagging or talk of what you should have done differently. I promise you, it’s not in here.
·Set a bedtime and stick to it
First things first. What time should your kids be going to bed? Well, a lot of parents I work with are surprised to hear that I recommend somewhere between 7:00 and 8:00 at night. Seems early, right? They’re even more surprised when I tell them that I suggest they keep that bedtime until their child is about 12 years old. There are two reasons why I think kids should be in bed, and by “in bed”, I mean sleeping, by 8:00 at night.
Kids need at least 10 hours of sleep a night.
An extra hour or two on top of that is never a bad thing, but you obviously have to make those adjustments based on your own observations and what will work for your family!
Regardless, if your toddler needs to be up by 7:00 A.M. in order to get ready for school, they should be asleep by 9:00 at the absolute latest. Factor in the time it takes them to get to sleep after they get into bed, plus the inevitable request for a glass of water or a totally bogus insistence that they need to stage a full production of the Trolls movie complete with costumes, and 8:00 is pretty much the latest they can get to bed and still get the sleep they need.
Second, you, as a parent, and your partner if there’s one in the picture, need to exist child-free for a few hours a day. You need to be able to watch TV that doesn’t ask you to participate by asking your name or where the puppy dog went, to be able to eat some junk food without fear of being spotted, to just do grown-up things and to recharge those parenting batteries. It’s vital to your relationship with your partner and with your kids.
Alright, so now that we know when to put our kids to bed, let’s move on to the significantly more difficult issue of how.
•Don’t leave it to the last minute
Hopefully you’re reading this while there’s still a couple of weeks before school gets back in, because the easiest way to get back on track is little by little.
If they’ve been going to bed at around 9:00 for the better part of their vacation, try moving bedtime up by about 15 minutes every 4 days until you’re back to their normal bedtime. If this requires a little deception on your part by adjusting the clocks in their room, you just go ahead and get deceptive. Sometimes the ends really do justify the means.
•Establish a bedtime routine
If you had an effective bedtime routine before your summer vacation threw everything off track then try to re-implement it as much as possible. Familiarity will definitely help your child settle back into the schedule quicker and with less resistance than trying out something new.
On the other hand, if this is your first go at implementing a bedtime routine, let me just stress how much easier a repetitive, predictable bedtime routine can make your life. When your child’s body and brain start to associate things like baths, stories, brushing teeth, putting on PJs, all done in the same order at the same time every night, it cues up their melatonin production, making sleep come easier. I seriously can’t recommend bedtime routines highly enough.
•Blame the Timer
This is a BIG one in my house!! “Sorry pal, it’s not me telling you that it’s time to get out of the bubble bath! The Timer has spoken, not much we can do about it”.
Of course, things like baths and stories are super fun, so there is a tendency for your toddler to try and negotiate for more time in the tub, or just one more story. If you find yourself constantly having to play sheriff, a timer can be your best friend for keeping things on schedule, and as silly as it may sound, takes the blame off of you and puts it on the timer. Mom can be reasoned with, but the timer is downright unwavering.